Thunderflukes

You humans are not so bad. As individuals I like most of the ones I have come to know. But there are too many of you.
SOLUTION ONE: REDUCE YOUR NUMBERS!
This is the best solution. So simple. Continued human population and economic growth is obviously unsustainable. It must stop somewhere. Reduce human populations for these reasons:

• For the future of the planet
• For the well-being of all other creatures in the world
• For your own survival 

The humans who I respect the most are the childless ones. Second most respectable are those who have produced only one child between two people. Third are those who maintain existing populations by having two children between two people.  I completely disrespect any couple with more than two children, or any single parent with more than one. They are the ones causing population increase. They should be shamed by every human and animal on the planet. They are destroying our world.

I've heard the ridiculous egotistical argument that goes like this;
"Oh but my children are the kind the world needs more of. It's other people's children that are bad for the world" They think that people from the lower human classes and from Africa and Asia are the only ones who should practice birth control. WRONG. Everyone needs to. Saints are more likely to emerge from the lower classes in poor countries than they are from anywhere else. Just think of all the over-privileged spoilt brats you've heard of in your media; the children of famous people who thought their offspring would be something special. Were those parasites really necessary to the world? What are they contributing? Mostly drug addiction, narcissism, environmental destruction and rampant consumerism. An uneducated starving child in Africa is a better bet for Azure's future. So say the whales.

SOLUTION TWO: END THE OIL ADDICTION
Humans have managed to do much harder things than this. There should be vast incentives for inventors who find ways to put a stop to the thirst for oil. Don't allow the oilcos to immediately buy out those who find alternatives. If the oilcos try, just release all the innocent jailed dolphins from their concrete prison pools and put the oilco executives in their place. Then you could train the executives to do tricks in the pool for the entertainment of the people. I know some humans who'd willingly pay big dollars to see this. If the oilco executives refuse to perform tricks, don't feed them. It's worked for years with innocent dolphins. Now put it to work on the more deserving. Another alternative is dropping them in the ocean for us to sort out for you. (But we still want the dolphins released)

SOLUTION THREE: END ALL MONEY WORRIES WORLDWIDE
I was following some discussions about whether New Zealand could expand underwater oil production near its coastlines. One thing that kept coming up was this idea that oil brings money. I cannot understand this. What is money? Why do you need it? We whales have existed for fifty million years on this planet and never needed it. Yet our happiness quotient, as measured by divine guides in the universe, exceeds the human happiness quotient by so much it is laughable. The guides also suggest that money is the root of all evil in human societies and is strongly linked to crime, envy, materialism, social divisions, rampant consumerism, and the list goes on. None of these problems even exist in our world where we do not have money. So the solution is simple. Throw all your money away. If everyone got rid of it you'd be able to live as we whales do, in peace and harmony. Please don't throw it in the ocean - some of it is non-degradable. Bury it somewhere on land where its poisons can never leak into the sea.